Friday, 26 May 2017

Core of existence (Part 1)

In the quiet of the early morning, Ved could hear his name being called with a clarity that was disturbing. He wasn’t sure what had brushed his consciousness in the first place, but he felt as aware as if the blood flowing through his veins were a distinct stream in the quiet of the dawn. Though he tried to go back to sleep, the restlessness he felt, refused to let him relax. He had been sitting beside the window of his room till the wee hours of the morning, when unaware, his eyelids had grown heavy and had fallen asleep. Now that he was wide awake, he decided to go outside his room and check for himself, if the indistinct humming he had been hearing was real. His house was deserted. He could not clearly remember, where everyone was. The silence and eeriness around him was exactly like the nightmare he had been having since the past few days. 
.
It was still dark outside and he could hear the faint rustle of the leaves on the tendua tree that stood a few feet away from his house. The wind on his face, relaxed his senses and he started walking, in no particular direction. He just wanted to walk. After a while though, he saw something in the distance, white as an apparition. For some reason, unknown, he felt drawn towards it like a firefly towards a light source. The darkness made it impossible to see where the path led, especially across the hilly terrain. It was only when he reached the plain it became clear that he had been following a small group of people- a young boy in the center, holding a small wicker basket led by a young woman. The were heading towards the bank of the small stream that led to the cremation ground.
 He looked at the young boy again. His eyes were sad and empty but not a drop of tear escaped. Unable to take in the scene , Ved decided to leave. He knew how quiet his departure was, and how everyone had been unaware, of his presence around them.
.
 A few days later Ved saw the small boy again, walking past his house. Ved wanted to talk to him, to offer words of comfort, of encouragement, to make him aware that he had been there when they were at the Ghat the other day. What difference would that make?
 Saddened by the thought, he decided to follow the boy. He had been tired and bored of his loneliness, of hanging around doing absolutely nothing since the past few days. His mind, perhaps had begun to play tricks on him, how many days had it been, since he had first seen the boy?  He could no longer keep track of his days and nights- he would find himself doing something one moment and the next moment he would wake up to something completely different. He had been thinking to visit a doctor, just to make sure that he was not actually going crazy. Breaking the chain of his thoughts he followed the boy. 
.
 Ved tried to remember his name; just the other day, he had heard someone call out to the young boy. He almost remembered, but soon it slipped past his consciousness,to be replaced by a void. The boy had disappeared already. It wasn’t dark, yet all he could see were the lush green pasture of bamboo that sprawled like an unending forest in front of him. He felt himself become one with the stillness of the air around him. He was about to leave, when he spotted him sitting at the edge of the field, his tiny form barely visible against the lush green background when it came back to him.
Manan. 
He had had snatched the tiny bit of information from the depths of his memories, before it could escape this time. 
.
 Manan just sat there looking up at the sky, till the stars came up. Manan was sad, Ved could clearly see in in the way he sat, his back bent under some invisible weight, the shine and spark missing from his eyes. Ved went and sat beside him, and whispered into Manan’s ears, “Hey!? How are you?”. Manan looked at him, but did not answer. Ved thought that perhaps he was so shaken up that he did not want to talk. He decided to give Manan the silence that he longed for, but never left his side sitting there till it was almost time to go back. 
Ved again tried to start a conversation with Manan, “Won’t your parents be looking for you Manan?”

But it was his silence that greeted him. Again.
As if realizing that he should get going, Manan picked up his bag and made his way back into the city, with Ved by his side. The silence between them stretched like an eternity with nothing to be shared. Manan’s tiny steps back towards the city broke his heart, he wanted to ask Manan about the other day, when he had first spotted him at the Ghat, but all the efforts Ved made towards starting a conversation went in vain. Manan would just not respond. 
The loss had been more than a mere mortal’s life. The young boy had learnt to remain silent and calm at an age where he should be running around, demanding to be pampered and taken care of.  It was seven by the time Manan had reached his house and went inside without a glance at Ved, leaving him standing outside- thinking for a long time. 
.
“Where were you?” Arunima’s anxious face greeted Manan at the door. Before he could reply Arunima held him by the elbow and dragged him inside. “Do you realize how worried I was, to find out that you were not at school today? Do you think you are old enough to wander about on your own” Arunima went on scolding him. Manan stood there, his head bowed low, fat tears pouring down his face. Arunima bent down sitting in front of him, so that they were at the same level and shook him, “Answer me”. He remained silent and a wave of pity rose inside her and she pulled Manan into a close hug. “I am sorry baby; Maasi got worried for you”, wiping his tears she looked into his eyes and said “Promise me, you won’t ever go anywhere without letting me know”, Manan’s silent nod seemed like a dead weight to Arunima.  She realized how difficult it was for him, to have lost his dad, his best friend, who meant everything to him at such a young age. Arunima’s sister had long left a void in their lives when Manan was born. 
Manan was dearer to her, than any other person in existence. He was the only link to her past, her own childhood. After losing her sister, she had not thought that Manan would go through the pain of losing his only parent. But such had been the irony of life. Manan’s father Tanush, was a lively man, full of life and happiness. The news had shocked everyone. Arunima knew how badly shaken up Manan had been to see his dad, lay there all, the accident spot all bloodied. It was a miracle that Manan and Arunima had escaped unscathed from it. 
The damage was however, deeper; since that day Manan had not uttered a single word. With each passing day Arunima was getting worried for him and had tried everything she could to make him talk. Today was the first time that she had the courage to send him to school and he had run away, without telling her anything.
.
“Do you want to eat? I made your favorite pasta today….”. Letting out a deep sigh Arunima took him inside , holding his hand and gently made him eat. Manan ate without a word; not once he resorted to the pranks he usually played with Arunima. She was his playmate and partner in crimes, the only person he loved and trusted other than his father. 
It was well past his bed time when he finally fell asleep. Arunima tucked him into his bed, and sat beside him, afraid to leave even for a moment. When she had found out that he had disappeared from school that day, she had gone wild with anxiousness. She had called all his friends at school, talked to their parents to know if they had any clue about his whereabouts. She had reached a dead end everywhere and she was about to go check the police station, when he had turned up. She felt , that some invisible angel had brought him back home safely.
The last thought that she had before dozing off was to bring the old mischievous Manan back, from the land where he had wandered and seemed to be lost .
                                                                                   to be continued.... 

1 comment: