''The pride in her eyes''  
     

                                                                  

Pride.

A word that is mostly misunderstood is pride. The distinction between pride and ego is so fine and nebulous that it often leads to a misnomer. How different is pride from ego? And what is it that pride is treated as a mark of dignity and respect and ego treated as a feeling of narcissism.

A woman takes pride in the strength of her character. She stands up for her faith and her ability to love inspite of all odds. She is not afraid to dream, she is not unwilling to go beyond her limits for the people she loves and cares for. This is her pride, her strength: one so strongly imbibed into her being that she knows that nothing in the world can break down her spirit. Her eyes reflect her honour, her confidence. Her smile makes the world believe that her life is free from all troubles. People think she is at the pinnacle of happiness, even though she might be struggling even to sustain for a second longer. It’s her pride that she goes through everything with a smile and never lets it break her spirit.

On the other hand ego places the sense of self-importance at the supreme. Even a slight tremor in the form of suffering might be enough to vandalise the entire existence into question. A woman who disguises her ego as self- respect can never be yielding in love. She does not understand the ability to place her relations, her so loved people before her. All she needs a feeling of supreme existence, of being above all she knows and love and perhaps this helps her go through the cycle of life.

But thinking back, can ego give a sense of spiritual fulfillment as strong as pride does. Pride is something that cannot be described by mere words. Her stance, her movements, her thoughts , everything is a reflection of the pride her soul carries. She is unwilling to compromise on things that might otherwise be not so significant to the others. But that’s her pride. This stays strong.

Till she meets the one person for whom she is willing to let go of her pride.  The one who melts away all her resolves, and perhaps her ability to reason with her own self. Before she even realizes she is irrevocably in love, a feeling so strong and intense that she finds herself completely consumed by it. She believes in the kind of love that drives her to the point of insanity, all she can think of is the ways how beautiful her life has come to be. She feels like a free bird, a free spirit. Her pride gets strengthened, moulded by the fire of love and passion.

Perhaps she is so consumed by the feeling of being in love that she fails to recognize the exact moment when her dream starts slipping away. Away into the infinite sky, gradually, slowing, creeping away before she can even hear its fading footsteps. Her pride woudn’t have let her question the fading dream, that why it chose to break. But here’s one time that she doesn’t hold onto the most important part of her life- her pride. She lets it to be broken.

Again and yet again.

Frantic, she questions only to be met with silence. Her pride would have never allowed her to be treated this way, anything to demean her. She would have walked away, yet she chooses to stay.

That’s the strength of pride. She chooses to wait, even when she watches her pride melt away from her eyes. Into the barren soul.

Waiting for the rains, waiting to be complete again. 

Sriparna
7th July 2015